A glow-in-the-dark Savior

I have been away for over a week now. I was visiting my ol' stomping-grounds up north, and then I drove back here with the Mrs. stopping by to visit my mother. And since my mother lives in about the middle between this place and my birthplace up north, it's a convenient place to spend the night and rest.

While we were there, I recalled an incident that took place few years ago. Me and Mrs. were again spending the night there. As we turned off the lights and went to sleep, things took a turn for the spooky.

As the lights were turned off, and everything was dark and all set for some sleep, I felt the Mrs. poke me on my side and whisper "There's something out there". "Where?", I asked. "There, next to the door". Sure enough, there was a humanoid shape floating in the air and glowing! I turned on the lights, and... There was a crucifix hanging on the wall. I think it was a souvenir from the "south" that my uncle brought with him. It was a pretty ordinary crucifix with a wooden cross and a Jesus that was made from what appeared to be marble. The cross was about 30cm long, Savior being about 20cm long. But for some reason, the perverted mind that created that thing thought that it would be good idea to have Jesus glow in the dark.

So, knowing that we were not being visited by ghosts or aliens, I turned off the lights. But it would not work. The glow was so spooky and distracting that sleeping was completely impossible. So I took a towel, and covered the crucifix with it. After congratulating myself for smart thinking, I was dismayed to notice that the powers of the almighty Savior were greater than the powers of the towel: it shone right through!

The next step in defeating Jesus was of course to remove him from the wall. But alas, his home was nailed to the wall. It wasn't merely hanging from it, it was nailed to it. Defeated, I had to go talk to my mother and ask for a hammer or some other suitable tool for prying out nails. When I told her why I needed the hammer, she had a look of confusion and disappointment on her face. Se got up, entered the room and ripped the crucifix from the wall. That's the last time I have ever seen that thing.

If there is a God, I'm going straight to hell. I just know it.

1 comment:

dr witmol said...

The tackiest religious 'artefact' I ever saw was a set of glow-in-the-dark rosary beads. But they were plastic, not wood and marble like your spook.

That's really funny that the Jesus shone through the towel. Maybe you needed a lined black velvet cloak or something.